Parent Journal
Opportunity Knocks - Parental Controls
Last year, both of my sons (now 11 and 8 years old) saved up their birthday, Christmas and allowance money to purchase a ipod touch. I have to admit, at first, I was jealous. I don't have an ipod touch. But we are trying to teach them the value of money and working to earn and save money so they can purchase things they want (and I won't get for them).
Once they got them, I knew that they wanted to download apps so they could play games. What I didn't realize at the time is that there are apps that I don't want them reading the title of. I had no idea how many pornographic apps there were on the market. I almost returned them. Thankfully, I did some research on-line and found out that I had the ability to set parental controls on their ipod touches to block inappropriate material. I also set up their itunes account under my name, so they can't download an app without my password.
It is so hard to keep up with technology. Our children have access to information via the internet at increasingly younger ages and many parents are not aware of some of the dangers. I realized this as I talked with other parents, whose children were the same age as mine. Many of them had no idea about inappropriate apps, parental controls or that they could set up an itunes account under their name so they controlled the password, not their child.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 children between the ages of 8 and 16 with internet access have viewed pornographic websites, sometimes inadvertently in the course of looking up information for homework, 69 percent of teens regularly receive personal messages online from people they don't know and most of them don't tell a trusted adult about it, and 48 percent of mothers admitted they don't always know what their kids do online. Thankfully there are more parents that are using filtering software to monitor their child's use on the internet at home, but this doesn't always protect them when they use hand held devices such as an ipod touch, Nintendo DS or cell phone.
As parents, we may not always like it, but technology isn't going anywhere. In fact, it is becoming more advanced. As parents, we need to work together to protect our children from possible on-line predators and exposure to inappropriate sexual information. Before the end of the school year, learn more about how to set parental controls for all devices that allows your child access to the internet (computer, hand held devices, cell phones, gaming devices).
Written by: Susan Meehan, AYE Executive Director and Mother of 2 boys.
Below are some good resources for parents.
Opportunity Knocks...Again
I knew I was in trouble when youngest son at age 4, (now 7 years old) came home from preschool all excited about a purple sparkle ring he had found and asked if he could ask Natalie to marry him. Mother and SonAfter some discussion, we agreed that before he could ask someone to marry him, he needed to finish college and have a good job. I look back now and I am glad that I took the opportunity to have a discussion (no more than 15 minutes) about our family values and what we expect when he grows up.
Two weeks ago, opportunity knocked again and I almost missed it. My youngest son had just gone to bed, when I heard something upstairs. He came out of his room and said his belly hurt (his stomach rarely gets upset). Now I could have told him to go back to bed, but I had a feeling there was something more to his upset stomach. So I walked up to put him back to bed and asked him if something was upsetting or stressing him out. He looked at me and in all seriousness said "I don't think Mary likes me anymore!"
For a moment, I wished that he was like my older son, who is very black and white, and just wanted to know the facts about puberty and for at least right now, has no relationship drama (or none that I've heard of). Instead, I realized that opportunity had knocked again. I asked him why he thought she didn't like him anymore. Apparently she has been tripping him and hitting him on the playground, "and sometimes it hurts!".
We talked for a little while about the different ways girls tend get boys attention at his age but, it didn't mean that was OK for her to hurt him. We discussed the importance of respect and how to tell Mary how he felt. We also talked briefly about when he is older, and allowed to have a girlfriend, how important is it that they respect each other. He asked me "what if one person is mean to the other person?" I told him then sometimes it is better for them to break up and find someone else that will be nicer to them." He said "OK" and was ready to go to sleep.
It took no more than 15 minutes for us to talk about the value of healthy relationships, which I hope, I will have a chance to reinforce over the years.
Too many times parents are scared to think about having "THE TALK" with their child, but it is the little conservations as they grow up that will really make a difference.
Written By:
Susan Meehan, Executive Director and mother of 2 boys
Tips and other resources for talking with your child.
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Pregnant Pause
About one-third of teens become pregnant at least once by age 20 and fully half of all pregnancies in the United States are unplanned.
Not too good.
This blog is written by those of us who toil happily at the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. (We know, it's a long name for an organization, but at least no one is confused about what we do for a living.)
Onward!
If you've picked up a People magazine, US Weekly or OK! in the past few weeks then you've seen all the covers featuring the young women from MTV's Teen Mom show. Click to read more.
The television shows 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom have been a ratings bonanza for MTV. My simple point here is that these two shows continue to capture the attention of teens and young adults in great numbers. That is, in my view, a very good thing.
There are some, of course, that disagree. Some disagree strongly. Click on the link to read more.
